I'm Fine. Have You Considered That YOU Might Have the Disorder?

I've been thinking about it, and I'm pretty sure neurotypicals are the ones with the actual disorder. Hear me out.

Symptoms of Neurotypical Syndrome (NTS):

• Compulsive need to make eye contact, even when it adds nothing to the conversation
• Cannot detect sarcasm unless you literally say "that was sarcasm"
• Speaks in exhausting layers of subtext and then gets mad when you miss the "obvious" hints
• Physically incapable of sitting in comfortable silence
• Will ask "how are you?" with zero interest in the answer
• Needs to see your face on a Zoom call even though we're looking at a spreadsheet
• Obsessed with weather-based small talk
• Inexplicably hostile toward people who eat the same food every day

Meanwhile, me:

• Clear, direct communication
• Loyal to a fault
• Can sit quietly and enjoy it
• Will tell you the truth even when it's awkward
• Deeply knowledgeable about specific topics (you're welcome)
• Unbothered by routine

But sure. I'm the one with the "disorder."

The truth: I don't struggle because something's wrong with me. I struggle because I'm running perfectly good software in an environment optimized for a completely different operating system.

I'm not broken. I'm just not your brand of normal—and that's not the same thing.